To RD

Here below there is what I wrote you some days ago, totally desperate because I could not communicate with you.
Today teh desperation has not gone away but my state of mind has changed....
I can't push the river, I can't push your river.....
I never wanted to be in your way, in between you and your family, in between you and Matheus.
I wanted you to be comfortable with me and our relationship, I wanted us to be happy because I still think you are the man for me.
Nonetheless I think now it is the moment for me to step aside.
I have to leave you lead your life over there with yoor family and your things, without having me in between of everything.
I would have liked to talk to you to at least get to know what is going on with you and why we are at this point which I was not expected at all, but I guess I cannot always have all I want.
Please read this piece of note I wrote you here below, it is my love to you, no matter what.
I miss you, I have been missing you for a while and I will miss you for another long while...
But I can understand...
I wish you the very best of everything, in everything.
If you feel you want to get in touch with me at some point in your life, try my numbers, I don;t think I will go anywhere soon.
Many kisses piccolini for today and all the days to come.
tua, ML

"Because I hope you are still reading this even though I am not sure and especially because this is really my last chance to talk to you and get some sort of response from you....I cannot be more desperate than this, not knowing where you are what you do what is going on with you.

I miss you so much I don't know what to do anymore, I am trying to keep busy but it helps only up to a certain point...

I want to hear from you, to hear your voice telling me what our beautiful US has become and why....

I want you to talk to me until there is nothing left to say, I want to be able to look in your eyes and find some sort of comfort to what is falling into pieces without me being able to prevent this catastrophe.

I need you next to me, at least fopr the last time, I need a good end to this relationship which has been my hope, my inspiration and part of myself for more than a year....

I need to hear everything you have to say directly from your mouth, it does not matter what it is and how much it hurts...

I am booking a client into the Casa Marina Resort in Key West and I cannot help thinking about you all the time....

Seriously I don't know what to do anymore, you have to step somehow towards me because i don't have any source anymore....I have tried them all and I really do not want to let it go like this, without trying to talk to you and getting some explanation of what is going on....

I am really upset and in pain....I am sort of begging you....to put you on my blog it has to mean that I really really don't know what to do anymore, I am desperate....Please listen to me and get in touch with me...it is important...a lot...

And if you want me to let you go for good, just tell me so...call me and tell me that you are done....but call me, it will be for sure less painful and hurting than this, at least we will be talking....

I know you care about me and you don't want to hurt me, so please answer me in some sort of way...you choose...deal?!"