If Only....

If only I was at a 3 hour bike ride from sun and rain I would be able to get on that red toy and go for a long enjoyable intimate and private ride, wearing just that suite to make sure that my jewelry does not scratch the shell of the bike...If only there were more Sundays in my weeks and less hours between the desert and the island..if only I could hear the words the laughs and the smile from a 15cm distance instead of a 13 hour flight I know it still would not be perfect, but for sure much better...if only I let myself go more often and speak my mind without being afraid of whatever, I think I might get more done and accomplished, feeling more satisfied...If only that someone I know would let me get closer, I am pretty sure there would be many more smiles and less sleepless nights...If only I could get off of that plane and see those eyes and that grin waiting for me at the airport, I would not be already so pissed about coming home from BA...if only I could hear those words and that sentence every week, I would relax and wait for the natural flow of things, knowing that it would be good no matter what...If only the absence made another heart and not only mine fonder...If only I was sure about those Summer meetings too short but still so good...If only I could choose how to end every day of my week, I would decide undoubtly to fall asleep in a C/spoon shape....If only I saw who I am and what I can do I would not have a single problem in shouting it out loud, full of strenght, confidence, power....If only I could stop counting the days that divide me from that voice, that face, those eyes, that time....If only I saw the trip to BA as a good way to know myself and spend sometime with myself instead of another way to escape that myself that anyway I keep living with...If only I listened to who sends me illuminating food for the soul..."Tardi ti ho amato, o bellezza sempre antica e sempre nuova, tardi ti ho amato. Ed ecco che tu eri dentro di me ed io fuori e là ti cercavo ed io nella mia deformità mi gettavo sulle cose ben fatte che tu avevi creato. Tu eri con me, ma io non ero con te. Quelle bellezze esteriori mi tenevano lontano da te e tuttavia se esse non fossero state in te non sarebbero affatto esistite. Tu mi hai chiamato ed hai squarciato la mia sordità. Hai brillato su di me e hai dissipato la mia cecità. Tu hai emanato la tua fragranza e ho sentito il tuo profumo ed ora io ti bramo. Ho gustato ed ora ho fame e sete. Tu mi hai toccato e io bramo la tua pace."
If only I could dance tango like a pro.....