Closing time....

Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...San Diego - August 2009 one year after THE meeting,almost two months after our last brief talk Michelle and I got on the evening plane for a weekend full of sun beach smell of the ocean nobu dancing..we smile talk laugh make fun of people and the only different things from that July 2008 is that if you stand close to us you will hear only two girls laughing and talking, instead of four..and that that long due phone call is not supposed to come from the south of the country but from it's east..We get ready and hit that same pizza restaurant we went to that Saturday night, so tired that we are not planning a long night out, we have another night nobu and ivy for it..but we are going to "Jimmy's Love" just for old times sake, we sort of like have to..the cover charge is a bit higher and there are not so many people nor the live band playing, and definitely no large crowd of sun burnt guys checking out every girl who passes by..while we are waiting for our drinks I cannot help bit looking around in search of that greenish shirt and that smile, of course with no positive outcome, after all it's frickjng real life, not certainly a movie..while we are making our way downstairs hoping for better music I try not to think about him what he's doing who he is doing it with and why he behaved like that with me, i just want to have a good time and enjoy this weekend this night.."the nicer you are to people the more they shit on you"..my friend starts talking to a medical student from Chicago while I people watch, my favorite hobby,and slightly sip gin&tonic, no cucumber or Hendrix thought, that were other times and other places, it does not work here..the best dancer on the floor approaches me and start talking, he's from Michigan not too drunk nor too attractive and engaging, I'm safe and relaxed while we make our way to the dance floor, where we have a really good 20 minutes before going separate ways for the rest of the night..some salsa steps and off we go,r eady for a good night sleep and a full intense day to come..I'm still thinking about that night and that guy and I know I still will for some other time,but at the same time I feel like I've closed the circle of events and I'm kind of ready to move on, KIND OF READY..the place and its atmosphere were the same but that splash of green was not there, in any possible way..nor is here that closure I'm so much longing for and I will ultimately have to get by myself in about another week, to finally start lowering this curtain and beginning the cleansing towards the moving on.
The smell of the ocean together with the wind and the warmth of the sun on my skin makes everything look better and more bearable,the right place to convince my brain it's time to move on for real...