5 years in Phoenix, AZ

Today is my 5th anniversary in Phoenix, AZ...
I still remembered when we got to the airport with mom 5 years ago around 9pm at night, tired and disappointed that our hotel room had been sold out, lost in traslation not to know where to look for to find my apartment to live for the following 18 months, sad and shocked for the sudden and unexpected death of my grandmother, running back to Bologna and back again in Phoenix in only 4 days, shattered by the 2nd victory of the same weird and unbelievable president, when we even risked to die in the fire some political fans started at the hotel....
I still remembered when my friends left Phoenix, leaving me trying to figure out my new life, how to make it better, how to fill it with some activities, friends, things to occupy my mind with not to think about how much I wanted to be there and how much I missed Bologna and my old life, the one I knew, the one I was comfortable with, the one I liked....
I still remember when I signed the papers to open the company, how scared and brave I was at the same time, not knowing exactly what I was doing what I was going to be facing, what my life would have turned into from that moment on.
Today I have looked back few times and it is still pretty difficult for me to realize it has already been 5 years since I have been here....I was certain it would have been just an 18 months experience to write on my CV, to be proud of, to tell to all my friends and to use to practice my English...and I am still here, in the process of making huge changes to the company, still not really knowing what I want to do and what I want to be as an adult, not sure this will be my final destination, not sure how I like this place, if I even like it, but recongnizing that for now, for this period of time, for this moment in history, this might be my best bet, the only route I feel like taking and risking for,the only option which is now my comfort zone and which I am scared of leaving....I don't know if I am convinced of this choice, but I have now realized that it could just be temporary and I can change it if it becomes too much, too unbearable, too complicated...so I bought two bottles of Spanish champagne and I am grateful that my dad and uncle are in town, so that we can celebrate together this stone I have reached and all the goals and objectives I have achieved, almost all by myself, on this side of the ocean, the one that 5 years ago seemed so far ostile and scary and now it is amost HOME, it is the place where to return to for some peace and quiet by myself and with myself, not to get comforted but to find my own space my own strenght my own inner energy to start again from and to reach some more goals.....I have made it to make it here, in the middle of nowhere, in the desert of the USA, for more than twice I thought of and expected to, and even with my highs and lows, my mood swings, my personal dramas, I can say I am happy, so far....because today I am not celebrating any wedding anniversary, but I am celebrating myself, who I was, who I am and what I have done in between...***